Monday, November 8, 2010

Some of my time-tested, me-approved rules

In one of my first blogs I mentioned how I have "rules" that I follow during deployment, and I thought I would share them with you!

Now, I'm no expert and I am only speaking of what is best for ME, during deployment...everyone has their "rules" that they follow, some will work for others while some wont....Don't be upset if I say something that you disagree with because they are MY rules for MY deployment....

1. As much as they want too, your family will not understand! If I am having a horrible day, I pick up and call a military friend, not my family.  I know my family will always support me and is there for me...but they don't understand what it is like...So, I don't talk to them about the emotional side of the deployment, its just easier and less explaining as opposed to calling a friend saying "its one of those days" and all I get is "I completely understand, I'm coming over with the margaritas!" I love my family, but there are just some things that no matter how hard they try, they wont understand.

2. Based on how many months he is gone, I get 1 day per month to throw a pity party for myself.  So, last deployment Kale was gone 7 month- I allowed myself 7 days to lay in bed and throw a full blown "my life sucks" day...I could use them whenever I wanted but once I reached 7 days, no more! I used 3 in the first month last time, mainly because I was super stressed with finals as well.  After that, I didn't use another...I kept "saving" them for when I would need them later in the deployment but never did...Knowing that I only had a limited number of allowed days to be miserable really made me think about how bad my life really was, and most of the time, I would realize I was just being dramatic.  

3. Have a family! I had a group of girls that I saw about every other day.  We would go work out together, go out to eat, make dinner for each other, just go watch a movie at someone's house, etc.  We were each others family.  I felt so much support that the time FLEW I make it a must to keep my military friends close during deployment so that they can become that extra family that we all need.  

4. Never let them see you sweat- I have had multiple people come up to me throughout deployments and say "You are always smiling!", and that's because I am! Misery loves company...but its the wrong kind of company.  If you are smiling, you are going to encourage others to smile and its contagious! If I was at a unit event, I wouldn't sit there and complain about the deployment, I would talk about the positive stuff that I had done recently.  Even if I was in a bad mood, putting a smile on your face, even if it is fake, will eventually turn into a real smile...FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT! 

5. EAT! Pretty self explanatory, but I love cooking for Kale so much that when he is gone, I don't really feel the need to cook, which results in me not really eating.  I would go all day without eating anything then at 11pm I would be starving and makes me happy...thus, I need to force myself to eat meals, even if they are small! Although I much more enjoy cooking for Kale, actually taking time to prepare a meal for myself is still pretty is a relaxing thing for me to do so when I do force myself to cook, I'm usually happier because of it!

6. Get out of the house!! I cant just sit in my house all day, I would go crazy, especially when there is no one coming home at the end of the I make sure I get out and do something.  I look forward to different classes to take at the gym, get together with friends, anything that keeps me looking forward to the day does the trick! My puppies also love the walks they get taken on too!!

7. Embrace Holidays- Holidays without your significant others can really suck, both deployments that Kale has done have revolved around him being gone for the big holidays -Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years.  And, this deployment isn't any instead of dreading them, I do thinks that make them exciting! For Thanksgiving, I don't go to my parents house, instead I have a pot luck with all the other wives.  Who ever hosts cooks the turkey (with lots of advice from the other wives since it is usually who ever hosts first time cooking one!) and everyone else brings the traditional fixings...then we dig in and enjoy each removes the stress of traveling, which for me would be a 12 hour drive both ways! Christmas I take joy in creating AWESOME care packages for Kale and love knowing that he gets joy after opening that package.  

Just yesterday I spent all day baking for the care package! I think I'm gonna make a post of different packages that Ive made later on....

8. I finish each phone call with "See you soon", because after saying it a couple dozen hundred times, you actually start to believe it! I don't care if it is day 1 of deployment or the day of homecoming, as we say goodbye I always say "see you soon" because its a reminder that this deployment WILL end, it wont go on forever, I promise...

So those are some "rules" that I live by...its things that keep me sane during deployment....and as we all know, adding sanity into a deployment is a much needed added bonus!


  1. number 6. get your pretty butt over here more often :)

  2. I love your rules! They are so true and most of them are ones I followed during mine :)


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